Chelle is back today to share the remainder of her story – how she has triumphed over her early life experiences and created a life she loves and can be proud of. She has found her purpose and passion and is turning it into a life full of self-love.


 

In February 2012 I was introduced to a lady named Emazon & my world turned upside down. I did a number of workshops and individual sessions with her. She taught about how my brain worked and helped me understand my values & the erroneous belief systems. I learned about conditioning & how I had allowed my beliefs to take over. I decided to reclaim my true self. I found my wings & really started to Stand my Ground. This work truly opened up another world to me that I hadn’t really anticipated. I didn’t think I was ready at the time, but I feel I was meant to find it.

Me (left) and Emazon (right)

Me (left) and Emazon (right)

I am & always will be a work in progress. It’s pretty hard to change habits & old belief systems. I constantly have a war going on between my mind and finding my real truth.

In June 2013 I felt confident that I was in a better position mentally to give up the booze. I used all the tools & tips I had learnt & followed the guidance I had received from Emazon about retraining my brain and creating new habits. I managed to stay sober. I got through with the help of a lot of positive self-talk & a good support network. I was thinking clearer, had more energy, money, and time for my family. I turned my focus to everything except drinking. I completely removed it from my thoughts. However I didn’t address the reason I was drinking in the first place.

In October 2013 I attended my cousins wedding. It was the first time my true self was exposed to my entire family and the first major social outing I attended sober. I went to the hen’s night & felt completely out of place, so left early.

The wedding was even tougher because everyone was there. I had been drinking & using drugs since I was 13 so I hadn’t really been around my family sober. I was scared of showing the real me and fearful of being judged. I had removed my mask & felt vulnerable. I can’t even write that without tearing up. I still hadn’t worked out who I was so I had no clue as to how I was supposed to relate to people as a sober human being. It’s a very scary realization & I let it get to me. I honestly did try to fit in but it was all too overwhelming for me & I walked out of the wedding.

I’m not sure that many people understood how I felt that night & I wouldn’t wish that feeling on my worst enemy. But I realized why I had put that mask on in the first place. I spent the next few months working on the whys & focused on strengthening my mind.

As the Christmas season neared I became anxious about social engagements again. I did not want to feel the way I had at the wedding so I gave myself permission to drink over the festive season only.

Silly move that was!

You see, alcoholism picks up where it leaves off & I was out of control before I even realized. I wasted another 7 months of my life feeling sorry for myself before I got another wake up call. I drank so much one Friday night that on the Saturday morning when I woke I thought I was going to die.

It was then that I vowed to never drink again. My greater self spoke to me. She was kind and she had compassion and she was quite firm in saying that the choices I had made, were made from not knowing any better. They were made out of fear. She told me I deserved better than the life I was allowing myself to lead and that I was robbing myself & the world of the real me.

I picked myself up & decided that the battle with alcoholism would be no more.

I quit on July 19th 2014.

It was probably the greatest act of self-love I have ever taken.

I am working on being comfortable without the mask. It’s a big step but one I am slowly getting used to. In Sep 2014 I attended a tour of workshops put on by Emazon and other presenters, which was the refresher I needed. I had the privilege of a 1:1 session with Oscar De Souza, a spiritual coach. Boy was that a lightbulb moment!

Oscar & I discussed where I had been & where I was headed. Little did I know that everything up to this point was setting me up for my definitive purpose. I was excited at that realization. I left his session feeling positive about the future. I enrolled in another course about Holistic Health, Wellbeing, Meditation & Holistic Counselling (I can never learn enough) & began to follow a new side of my dream.

About 1/3 of the way into the course I was thrown a very large Mac truck that could topple most people; I found out that my little girl had been sexually abused. I was crushed but refused to allow the event get me down. I activated my fight mode & discovered it was on fire! Sometimes I actually thought I was watching someone else in the driver’s seat from above. I was just following directions & would ask questions later.

I found the lesson from the “why me” question & I focused on the positive. I soon realized that the course and family support was exactly what was going to help me get through this. It’s been a long journey and the biggest hurdle I think I have jumped. I could have quite easily picked up a bottle in those hard months. I thought about it a few times, but I had worked too bloody hard to fall down now.

I allowed myself time to grieve & increased the positive self-talk.

I learnt a lot about affirmations through my course & I can tell you now they play an important role on the way we view ourselves. I use them daily and repeat twice daily if needed. I believe affirmations are the most useful tool available to us in developing positive thinking skills & are used to reprogram useless, erroneous and unproductive subconscious (or even conscious) belief systems.

They are self-empowering, self-governed, free and always available to us. Most importantly, affirmations work quickly and effectively. They are most effective when spoken out loud. Each week I pick a few affirmations that are relevant to where I am & I write them on my bathroom mirror. I use the bathroom morning & night so it seemed to be the perfect place. Twice a day I read them aloud. I repeat them to myself & I shut out any negative thought that creeps in when I say them. I am basically recreating my belief systems & I can only say good things that have come from it. My daughter has created her own affirmations to help with her negative thoughts. She is confronted by many issues & using them helps her confidence. She has overcome a few issues.

Affirmations on the bathroom mirror

Affirmations on the bathroom mirror

I promise you that after the initial feeling of silliness you will feel from talking to yourself, you will be able to look in the mirror & proudly believe what you say.

For some people, who are heavily entrenched in negative thought processes, positive thinking can be quite difficult. In some cases it is necessary to start off small and get bigger as the habit of focusing on the positive develops.

You may like to incorporate other activities such as gratitude journaling, which is simply writing down 4 or 5 things daily that you are grateful for. Focusing on what is already good in your life right now is a good strategy to start thinking positively.

Another helpful tool I learnt through my course was to allocate 15 mins of worry time every day. As negative or worrying thoughts pop into my mind, I jot them down & leave them until my allocated worry time. When the time arrives I am allowed to think, dwell and worry and I find it helps to keep my mind from straying to the positive.

I also incorporate daily meditation, which I have found super beneficial in keeping my mind positive. I have created a positive quotes window above my meditation area. This is my tranquil space that I can turn too whenever I am feeling down.

My meditation space

My meditation space

Keeping a stress management diary helps too.

After experiencing workplace bullying I was forced to look at my life & my entire being. It was only when I started looking inside that my life started turning around. In 2011 I finally found my purpose. I was on a guided tour in The Katherine Gorge, listening to this young Aboriginal Guide speak of his culture & of his land. It moved me so much I was in tears. I was spiritually moved by nature, by the stories of our land & my entire self felt at peace. For the first time EVER I felt like me. That moment in my life was one that I will never forget. It is hard to explain but I guess when you find yourself and your purpose you’ll know what I am talking about. It gives me goosebumps talking about that moment.

It was then that I realised that I wanted to be a Tour Guide. I wanted to share our beautiful land with the world; I wanted to give people the experience that young guide gave me.

I decided to take action on making that dream a reality. I feel that when the time’s right it will be running exactly how it’s supposed to be. I purchased a bus in 2013 and am working toward doing tours full time.

I find myself questioning whether I have what it takes to put my ideas out to the world and I allow negative self-talk get in the way of my dreams. It takes a lot of hard work & commitment to stay positive in a world so full so drama. Creating the positive habits I mentioned above has made it much easier.

We are what we choose to believe. We make the choices about our futures. Our body hears everything our mind says.

I made the choice to put myself out there and have found that the more I do it, the more the world opens up. I stopped hiding behind my fears. I have learnt the importance of living a balanced life and keeping it simple.

I accept that what I put out will not be for everyone, which is ok. I will no longer lock myself up in fear of “what others think” because what I have to offer will touch the hearts of many. This article has prompted me to get my butt into gear so I can launch my tours soon. I am hoping these will include some wellness tours, incorporating basic meditation, affirmations & positive self-talk. I feel that helping to create healthy minds can change the world and practicing regular positive self-talk not only promotes happiness, but also helps make dreams come true.

Be brave, be bold & stand your ground.

 

Be the phoenix of your life, not the victim.

 

 

chelle bio

Me

Feel free to check out my facebook pages, Down Under Discoveries, which is my baby, & Tru Colors Holistic Health & Wellbeing. This one is still being built, so there isn’t much to see yet. Thanks for reading my story. If I can help one person then I know my journey was worth it.

 

Down Under Discoveries  www.facebook.com/downunderdiscoveries